I hope that if you are here, struggling through the same grief of a self lost, that I can help you find what was always there, so you can resonate within again.

I was born with an uncomfortable awareness of life and who I was as a person. 

When I was a little girl I could feel the immense value of the lady bug tickling my skin. I knew the peace that nature brought. I spoke out against unjust behavior. And worst of all to others, I analyzed situations.

Girls shouldn’t be bossy. A young lady spends her time inside preparing the home, not outside. Don’t be a spoiled brat. YOU are wrong.

That innate awareness of myself was shut down. Piece by piece my culture stole my connection to my soul and to what most people would call God (I certainly don’t call it that anymore, but I think we are all talking about the same thing here  :D).

I fought my inner wisdom the rest of my life. I knew I wasn’t good with kids, but I was born to be a mother so I had to. I knew I didn’t meet the requirements of a traditional house wife, but I burnt enough cookies to prove I forced my way through it. I yearned for a profession that provided a sense of meaning, but instead I sat uncomfortably with the other women talking about our children.

I checked every god damn box that was thrown at me and I hated every second of it. Depression and anxiety ruled my life since I couldn’t. Then life helped me snap back into myself.

What the hell was I doing here? I knew, and always had known, what would make my life feel like it had meaning and purpose. I gave my power away every day to people who cared nothing for me but that I stayed in the box they placed before me. So I vowed to choose myself from that SECOND forward. 

I had thought that meant that I would have to give up my family- but really it just meant showing up as myself with my family and friends.

But how did I do that when I had sold parts of myself to every Tom, Dick, and Sally who had given me a questioning look?

Through a shit ton of trial and error, self help books galore, and an intense drive for self sovereignty that had been denied me since birth.